Last month I finally joined Twitter. I shouldn't have. I got a few invitations to join, and had to understand why everyone is talking about tweeting now, and so I clicked one day and signed up. I didn't try to find friends who were already tweeting, but I did checkmark to get updates from Martha Stewart and GMA. Then within seconds there were twenty random messages in my twitterbox. (I don't know the real terms here.) It was so overwhelming. TMI!!!! I didn't really need to know that Martha had just baked the perfect piecrust, tune in to the show to find out how! And after signing up, I had trouble believing that anyone cares what I am doing during random moments throughout the day. And I felt like learning what other people are doing throughout the day would just be too many little tidbits floating around in what has become my lackluster memory, so I haven't logged on since.
But the feeling of TMI continued so logging into the other realms of cyberspace that I haunt just made me feel defeated. So I've been absent from blogging and have ignored urge to write the posts that have occurred throughout these weeks, though a few are still in mind.
Then there's Facebook. I've enjoyed reconnecting with many people, like my best friend from early elementary school. She is an only child and I have fond memories of playdates at her house, listening to Madonna's "Like a Virgin" record (I recall my mom asking me if I knew what a virgin was), and eating kumquats picked off the tree in their backyard. And I cherish the late night chat, via facebook, I had with my first missionary companion when I was in Italy, a woman who is near sainthood to me and I'm so glad to be connected to her in this small way. But that being said, I can't keep up with it. How can I write what's going on in my life if I can't figure out how to navigate the time to follow the goings-on of all my other friends posting random "what are you doing now" comments.
And then there's Goodreads. I love this network. With just a few friends on my goodreads list I get a weekly update of who is reading what and what they thought of it. But how many times have I updated my good reads list? Twice, I think. Everytime I get those email updates about what my friends are reading, there are so many books I want to add to my list of to-reads. And then I delete the email thinking that I'll just go to my account and look up the books that way. I never do it.
And all this is just a big whiny post to say that I just can't keep up. All this information from all these people I care about has become so overwhelming in the past month. I feel guilty because I have yet to remember and then do something kind about a birthday, or significant occasion for those closest to me this year. I used to be a person who remembered to make birthdays, baby births, graduations, and the rest, a special occasion. And not being that person right now is killing me. I have to figure out how to be my thoughtful self even though I often feel like I hardly have any thoughts these days. All I can say for myself is that I remember my childrens' schedules and have only forgotten to pack Ridge's lunch one time this year. So here, besides all the silliness of being an online absentee recently, is also a blanket apology for missing the things that are important to you. I'm sorry. And this from a person who fairly recently posted about not stifling a good impulse! Geesh.