Thursday, May 14, 2009

Twitter did it

Last month I finally joined Twitter. I shouldn't have. I got a few invitations to join, and had to understand why everyone is talking about tweeting now, and so I clicked one day and signed up. I didn't try to find friends who were already tweeting, but I did checkmark to get updates from Martha Stewart and GMA. Then within seconds there were twenty random messages in my twitterbox. (I don't know the real terms here.) It was so overwhelming. TMI!!!! I didn't really need to know that Martha had just baked the perfect piecrust, tune in to the show to find out how! And after signing up, I had trouble believing that anyone cares what I am doing during random moments throughout the day. And I felt like learning what other people are doing throughout the day would just be too many little tidbits floating around in what has become my lackluster memory, so I haven't logged on since.

But the feeling of TMI continued so logging into the other realms of cyberspace that I haunt just made me feel defeated. So I've been absent from blogging and have ignored urge to write the posts that have occurred throughout these weeks, though a few are still in mind.

Then there's Facebook. I've enjoyed reconnecting with many people, like my best friend from early elementary school. She is an only child and I have fond memories of playdates at her house, listening to Madonna's "Like a Virgin" record (I recall my mom asking me if I knew what a virgin was), and eating kumquats picked off the tree in their backyard. And I cherish the late night chat, via facebook, I had with my first missionary companion when I was in Italy, a woman who is near sainthood to me and I'm so glad to be connected to her in this small way. But that being said, I can't keep up with it. How can I write what's going on in my life if I can't figure out how to navigate the time to follow the goings-on of all my other friends posting random "what are you doing now" comments.

And then there's Goodreads. I love this network. With just a few friends on my goodreads list I get a weekly update of who is reading what and what they thought of it. But how many times have I updated my good reads list? Twice, I think. Everytime I get those email updates about what my friends are reading, there are so many books I want to add to my list of to-reads. And then I delete the email thinking that I'll just go to my account and look up the books that way. I never do it.

And all this is just a big whiny post to say that I just can't keep up. All this information from all these people I care about has become so overwhelming in the past month. I feel guilty because I have yet to remember and then do something kind about a birthday, or significant occasion for those closest to me this year. I used to be a person who remembered to make birthdays, baby births, graduations, and the rest, a special occasion. And not being that person right now is killing me. I have to figure out how to be my thoughtful self even though I often feel like I hardly have any thoughts these days. All I can say for myself is that I remember my childrens' schedules and have only forgotten to pack Ridge's lunch one time this year. So here, besides all the silliness of being an online absentee recently, is also a blanket apology for missing the things that are important to you. I'm sorry. And this from a person who fairly recently posted about not stifling a good impulse! Geesh.


curly girl said...

I SO hear you! I have a love/hate w/Facebook, and I haven't gone near Twitter, yet I have this card sitting here for my sick frustrates me. I keep saying I'm going to back of the FB. I really am! And, I don't even play any games or "poke" anybody! I need to make it work for me, not the other way around, so I try to stick to actually communicating w/people. For example, we have sisters in our RS who won't return phone calls or emails, but they will respond on FB. So, I have to use it, cause it's part of my calling, right?! ;)

Kelsey K. Hartley said...

Great! You've saved me the trouble of investigating Twitter. The news networks keep talking about it like everybody's doing it and I'm not. I'm already behind on the blog and e-mails. Like you said I too am on Facebook and Goodreads and I never even look at my sisters' photo updates to bother with anyone else's. It's all about good intentions sometimes. I do "care" and want to know that everyone of my friends are doing well...I'm just glad all this talk on Twitter is over rated. I'll take your word for it anyway.

Torrie said...

i only blog.
and i feel like i only half heartedly do that sometimes.
i have no intrest in twittering, face booking or any other thing like that.
i think you do great at making people feel special, you watched my kids for me to go on chastins feild trip, you made me dinner a couple of times over the last few months..but i understand the need to do better, so i commend you for even wanting to try. i love the saying that older women always give me when i am complaining about not being able to do it all.
they say' this is a stage- a season of your life.' and i just go with that. one day we will make more people feel loved, but for now, we can only work on our families. at leat that's how i feel.

and good job on ridge's lunch!
last week i forgot and was at costco when i realized it. i quick- got a hotdog and soda and met him outside. so your doing great!

Torrie said...

that was supposed to say i forgot chastins lunch.
i made it sound like i forgot ridge's !
oh boy!

kelly said...

ok, now i understand!!
and amen to everything you said!
i have thought about quitting facebook, but there's a few people i like to see updates on, but i never post a thing.
and i can't seem to do the 365 and my blog.
but like julie beck said (and it's on my new plaque)
"mothers who know... do less."
so, don't feel guilty.

Lark said...

Good to hear about Twitter from you...I am not going there. It took me forever to sign up for facebook, only becasue like you, I felt like I couldn't keep up with everything and everyone, and I didn't really care. In the end I signed up for that because it was a way to share pictures from the show I was doing and to stay in touch with those friends after the show was over. But I can't keep up so I don't try, and I don't feel that guilty about it. You're doing great - just ditch all the cyber junk that you don't need and you'll feel better - sounds like you are well on your way already :)

Shannon said...

Thanks for the honest viewpoint. I have been feeling pressure from college friends to join facebook, but have put it off because I waste - scratch that - invest enough time on my blog and 365 as it is. You have reinforced what my common sense has been trying to tell me from the get go: it's not for me.

(But can I add you as a goodreads friend? I would love to see what you're reading, when you have time to read!)